Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Each Dawn I Die - Film Noir poem NapoWriMo Day 9

Each dawn I die

Edges all smoothed away
by the warm darkness of gaslamps,
draped in the light smog
of 1930s London,
like a dozen villians
have just extinguished cigars
on the eyeballs of their enemies.

High heels clack
dangerously
on cobbled streets

don't return

Must and musk smothers alleys,
cobwebs choke windows
thick with grime,
that frame fearful faces,
there such a short time
your imagination could have made them.

Visibility is poor
a flash of stockinged leg
a hint of a revolver
all you will see
still, you've seen too much...


Yey! enjoyed that one. It feels like it was waiting to be written. Love it when that happens! xxx

12 comments:

  1. like a dozen villians
    have just extinguished cigars
    on the eyeballs of their enemies.

    I'm liking the specific number of bad guys and the grossness :D.

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    1. Thanks for feedback. I enjoyed this one. I like writing about things I know little about! x

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  3. I love the detail. It makes the scene so vivid.... smothered alleys and choked windows. Wonderful. Thanks for sharing it.
    ~Jennifer Clark (Threshold to Madness)

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, it's brilliant to have feedback on specific pieces of poem. Sarah x

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  5. This is great - it really flows and has fabulous images. I can really see the scene.

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    1. Thanks Coreena really enjoyed doing this one x

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  6. A great piece, Sarah. Loved it!

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    1. thanks. first thought have no idea about film noir then a little and that is the best thing to get an essence from! x

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  7. great! 50 views! nearly doubled my views with a poem that was just waiting to be written and was the quickest to write so far this NaPoWriMo. Brains, I love the way they work! x

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  8. just saw reply tabs to addressed responses to correct people! x

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